The Adventures of DJ and his TIVO
Thursday, July 17, 2003

J. Lo and Ben are giving a dual interview tonite. Does this mean that Gigli is so devoid of plot that the two of them must give a prime-time interview to Pat O'Brien. BTW, is there a "boycott ben and Jlo" website? There should be one. Did you ever see the SNL cartoon of them that lampooned their outrageous spending habits (like this jeweled toilet seat Benny Boy bought for that big, beauteous backside). "Awe snap," that was funny! Robert Smigel is the King.....

Am I the only one who remembers when O'Brien was an sportscaster and deserved some respect? Am I also the only one who can't get the image of him wearing a white Kangol hat backwards out of their head? Where can I find a picture of that and finally get some closure?

Perhaps I'll try a running commentary on the interview later in the day. A little homage to the sports guy.

Oh, almost forgot. Watched a Tivoed (yes thats how you spell it) episode of Charlie Rose interviewing German Foreign Minister Fischer. Not gonna bore you like Fischer bored me, but 1) Germany wants back in our good graces badly. 2) the guy really crushed my stereotype that Germans wear funky glasses. His were really plain and 3) this one is so important I am starting a new paragraph....

3) The foreign minister, when speaking of the Nazi period, said, "When the Nazis occupied Germany." I wish Charlie would've seized him by his chubby little throat. Can you believe that the German foreign minister played the victim card? Is this new? Is this why they side with Saddam and Yasser? Do they now have the self-image of victims of facism.? God how time distorts. This is a signal. BE CAREFUL OF GERMANY!!!!
Wednesday, July 16, 2003

Nothing sayz summer more than Star Jones in lime green. Can you say refreshing? Carnie is back? BLAH BLAH BLAH -- ASHTON -- BLAH. At one point Carnie bemoans that some tabloid showed her with three chins... the next moment the camera man focused on a woman in the audience with a whole lotta chins..... (its on my Tivo). Was that a setup? Not Nice.

BIKINI WAXES were the next topic as the girls gabbed about some lady who gave something like 130 waxes in less than four hours.... some kinda new record. The more interesting thing is that I saw this story the night before on Countdown with Keith Olbermann. What does that mean? A prime time, hipster, Sportscenter alumni covers the same stories as Barbara Walter's feminist revenge show. News must be like food -- we just cover it with sauce to try and make it different and spicy and more to our tastes.

THE MEN OF SEX AND THE CITY CAME ON and Star and Carnie basically babbled for the first half of the interview. As Star herself might say, "The chubby girls were happy". But the interview was a let down. I think that four guys are too much for two loopy women to handle. Lisa Ling would held this one together. No editorial intended, just a statement of fact.

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

First, I tried to be good and Tivo some political yammerings on Sunday Morning. Meet the Press should be called beat the press as Rumy made that pumpkin headed anchor Tim Russert look like a whiny little alter boy. I woulda paid to see Rumy wack him.

On FOX NEWS SUNDAY, there was an interview with Israeli PM Ariel Sharon. Firstly, and this doesn't matter, but man is he rotund! Okay, now for some thoughts on the interview. Firstly, the fact that he had a women interview him is so priceless. I can imagine the process of deciding this; "Well, if I have to talk to someone from the US it might as well be a chick from Fox." SHARON!!! Moreover, the interview took place on his farm.

More specifically, Sharon took her into his sheep pen and conducted the interview with the loud bleeping of the sheep in the background. Again, this man's actions are priceless. As I watched him give his 'answers' to her 'questions' I wondered if he felt like Russel Crowe's Gladiator; a farmer that dreamed of working on his land, but his nation always needed him to fight and ensure its security and ability to move towards a better political body.

Now, Project Greenlight. Quick Shout out to Pete Jones (the original PG winner) -- who is out there make a new film in Chi-town. The current PG is heating up, but the directors Kyle and Ephraim are annoying. One minute they know what they are doing, the next they are total buffoons - asking for cars and rewriting the script. They are so the kids who have everything, but everything is not what they thought it was, so they bitch, bitch, bitch. Chill out ladies.

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