The Adventures of DJ and his TIVO
Friday, August 08, 2003

The Today Show confirms that throwin' a hottie into anything makes in more interesting. This morning on the Today Show, Matt interviewed Nigel Marven and Heidi Klum; he is a shark expert and tv host and she is the hotty that, it is hoped, will improve the ratings of Shark Week on Discovery (its starts Sunday night). I mean they probably would not have landed a segment on Today if she weren't involved. It reminds me of that $10,000 game where contestants 'shoot naked hotties' with a paintball gun. BTW, Heidi was sporting a very 1976-era blond feathered hair-do. Its looked good. BTW, the Today website describes Ms. Klum as an actress. What movies has she been in?
Wednesday, August 06, 2003
HERE R THE O.C. NOTES and some random bits...

Initial thoughts upon hearing, main character is over-achiever, hidden in tough guy bod, too GOOD WILL HUNTING fer me... While I don't think this guy Ben Mckenzie (who was on the View yesterday and they gushed over him) is the next Crowe, I do think he looks like Abram from Road Rules... Do ya see?

Sandy Cohen -- the Jewish Liberal lawyer/dad on The O.C. ? Way Tooooo Cliche!..... Didn't Dharma and Greg have a liberal jewish daddy (Larry Finkelstein was the name), Alan Alda has played the role in a few Woody movies as well as in Flirting with Disaster. (one of Ben Stiller's top 3 films -- up there with Zoolander Speaking of worn out images, the loose use of brand names to define peops is reminiscent of Patrick Bateman of American Psycho. (The book is infinitely more disturbing than the film). For example, when the O.C. Mom argues that her daughter was to be in Vera Wang, not Calvin Klein, the coordinator spews further insult & explains the young girl had not the breast for the Wang... Wang... Wanger.... Donger

THE USE OF ALCOHOL AND DRUGS early in The O.C., shows how far we, the American viewing public, have come. The premiere episode included background players using cocaine and marijuana & having 3sums while the primary players drink; one of them to the point of passing out... While alcohol may have appeared in opening episodes of 90210, to the best of my knowledge 'heavier' drugs didn't enter until seasons laters. I guess thats what happens when you replace Aaron Spelling with Doug Liman (GO!). The O.C. is gonna be good, but the bar is up there and violence, given the early roughhouzin, is probably en la mesa.. Also, I have avoided commenting on Sandy Cohen's supposedly weird, but cool and endearing son, Seth. BITING MY TONGUE. GIVING HIM ANOTHER CHANCE NEXT WEEK.

I AM SICK OF KATIE COURAC and her awe shucks act with Hollywood's leading men. She was all at it again today with LL Cool J. She was callin' him James Todd and it was really annoying. I will give a shout out to MSBC b/c their media player is great (though nowhere near as good as a Tivo)... Watch the clip of Katie gushing goofily over him... BTW, LL is huge in this movie, but with a shaved head etc, he was lookin' like a mini Vin Diesel.
I WOKE UP SINGING..California Here I come....

Though, as far as I understood from last night's premiere of The O.C., Ryan came from California. So, maybe it meant Chino (the town in California where Ryan was from) was so bad that it wasn't really California.

So here are my assorted comments on last nights groundbreaking premiere of The O.C.

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

I hit it on Tivo. Many comments to come on the premiere episode. There were moments of clarity amidst the chaos that is a FOX/Doug Liman premiere. Go!

Been Awhile, but I'm back KOBE AS CIRCUS, as in Bread and

Had some travels that left my internet access spotty at best. Won't happen again, I'll hit the Kinkos if need be en la futura. Lo Siento.

Now, for tivo. GOD DID I MISS MY TIVO WHILE TRAVELING. Dear Tivo product managers... please make a pocket size/travel tivo like travel connect four. Thank you. Oh, and make tivo available for the car radio.

So, what have I been watchin'. Obviously they are goin' non stop on Kobe and his wife. The whole jewelry thing is so Soprano-like. I'll tell you, it appears the public doesn't like entertainers stepping out of their place as entertainment. No one demanded morality of Kobe, only great hoops, but when he puts himself into this situation, then his morality will be measured.

Same thing for those Hollywood political types. When they step out of their roles and try to inhabit the REAL WORLD (and no reality tv is not real, even if you are Hammer or Gabrielle Sarteris). Stay in the circus. If you step out, then you might just end up like the bread side of the equation... shat out.

Sunday, July 20, 2003

A tivo moment I had on Saturday made me wonder how many little Iraqi/American babies our GIs are gonna make before this occupation ends? And beyond that b/c civilians and 'civilians' (CIA) are gonna hang around after the troops leave.

Heres how it all went down. A Classic 'Tivo Channel Hang Over' moment. On Sat. morns, mivo (thats short for my tivo -- ie, I love mivo or alternatively, mivo loves me and always hooks me up with classic All in the Families on Nick) grabs three 90210s. So the 'channel hang over' occurs when the gang is off, mivo stops recording, but stays parked on FX. So, I come into the room and me box is on FX and its airing on old episode of MASH. The dude who played John Baker (Ponch's partner on Chips) is a bit player on this episode of MASH and has fathered a kid with a local (Korean) girl. So thats what got me thinking. I know that whenever we figt in wars our GIs leave some kids (Japan, Korean, Nam). I gotta assume this has been happening since Romulus and Remus, but I am givin everyone a heads up on it in Iraq. Should we grant these kids citiizenship and move them over here? But, that could costs some cash and we have a big enough deficit and enough kids here already.

Another Tivo 'suprise' was sent my way this weekend, when 'breaking news' interrupted reg scheduling on MSNBC.
Thursday, July 17, 2003

J. Lo and Ben are giving a dual interview tonite. Does this mean that Gigli is so devoid of plot that the two of them must give a prime-time interview to Pat O'Brien. BTW, is there a "boycott ben and Jlo" website? There should be one. Did you ever see the SNL cartoon of them that lampooned their outrageous spending habits (like this jeweled toilet seat Benny Boy bought for that big, beauteous backside). "Awe snap," that was funny! Robert Smigel is the King.....

Am I the only one who remembers when O'Brien was an sportscaster and deserved some respect? Am I also the only one who can't get the image of him wearing a white Kangol hat backwards out of their head? Where can I find a picture of that and finally get some closure?

Perhaps I'll try a running commentary on the interview later in the day. A little homage to the sports guy.

Oh, almost forgot. Watched a Tivoed (yes thats how you spell it) episode of Charlie Rose interviewing German Foreign Minister Fischer. Not gonna bore you like Fischer bored me, but 1) Germany wants back in our good graces badly. 2) the guy really crushed my stereotype that Germans wear funky glasses. His were really plain and 3) this one is so important I am starting a new paragraph....

3) The foreign minister, when speaking of the Nazi period, said, "When the Nazis occupied Germany." I wish Charlie would've seized him by his chubby little throat. Can you believe that the German foreign minister played the victim card? Is this new? Is this why they side with Saddam and Yasser? Do they now have the self-image of victims of facism.? God how time distorts. This is a signal. BE CAREFUL OF GERMANY!!!!
Wednesday, July 16, 2003

Nothing sayz summer more than Star Jones in lime green. Can you say refreshing? Carnie is back? BLAH BLAH BLAH -- ASHTON -- BLAH. At one point Carnie bemoans that some tabloid showed her with three chins... the next moment the camera man focused on a woman in the audience with a whole lotta chins..... (its on my Tivo). Was that a setup? Not Nice.

BIKINI WAXES were the next topic as the girls gabbed about some lady who gave something like 130 waxes in less than four hours.... some kinda new record. The more interesting thing is that I saw this story the night before on Countdown with Keith Olbermann. What does that mean? A prime time, hipster, Sportscenter alumni covers the same stories as Barbara Walter's feminist revenge show. News must be like food -- we just cover it with sauce to try and make it different and spicy and more to our tastes.

THE MEN OF SEX AND THE CITY CAME ON and Star and Carnie basically babbled for the first half of the interview. As Star herself might say, "The chubby girls were happy". But the interview was a let down. I think that four guys are too much for two loopy women to handle. Lisa Ling would held this one together. No editorial intended, just a statement of fact.

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

First, I tried to be good and Tivo some political yammerings on Sunday Morning. Meet the Press should be called beat the press as Rumy made that pumpkin headed anchor Tim Russert look like a whiny little alter boy. I woulda paid to see Rumy wack him.

On FOX NEWS SUNDAY, there was an interview with Israeli PM Ariel Sharon. Firstly, and this doesn't matter, but man is he rotund! Okay, now for some thoughts on the interview. Firstly, the fact that he had a women interview him is so priceless. I can imagine the process of deciding this; "Well, if I have to talk to someone from the US it might as well be a chick from Fox." SHARON!!! Moreover, the interview took place on his farm.

More specifically, Sharon took her into his sheep pen and conducted the interview with the loud bleeping of the sheep in the background. Again, this man's actions are priceless. As I watched him give his 'answers' to her 'questions' I wondered if he felt like Russel Crowe's Gladiator; a farmer that dreamed of working on his land, but his nation always needed him to fight and ensure its security and ability to move towards a better political body.

Now, Project Greenlight. Quick Shout out to Pete Jones (the original PG winner) -- who is out there make a new film in Chi-town. The current PG is heating up, but the directors Kyle and Ephraim are annoying. One minute they know what they are doing, the next they are total buffoons - asking for cars and rewriting the script. They are so the kids who have everything, but everything is not what they thought it was, so they bitch, bitch, bitch. Chill out ladies.

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